April Writing Challenge- Day 30: My Highs and Lows For this Month


Perhaps without the lows, the highs could not be reached | Picture ...

Wow, I can’t believe this #writing challenge has come to an end. Thinking back to March 30th, I was like should I do this because I would have to write something for thirty days straight. And, drum roll please…(makes drumming sound)… I have gotten to Day 30. Yay! And I have done this with another blogger- Baby Butterflies and Coffee. Please do check out her posts if you haven’t done so. She’s amazing. It was fun doing this challenge with her and I thank her a lot for doing this with me.

Now, today’s writing challenge is to write about my highs and lows for this month. I want to talk about the highs first.

One of my highs for this month was talking about what makes me really happy. It was day one and it felt good talking about something positive and putting me in a good mood. Another was listing the five places I want to visit because though being in quarantine like everyone else, it didn’t hurt having to talk about places I dream of visiting one day. While doing the challenge, Day 5, I had taken the liberty to study more about those places mainly to give myself something to do and to educate myself.

During this month, I had come across some movies and shows I’ve never seen and re-watched the ones I have seen at least more than once. I probably have seen tens of movies this month and it felt good to chill out with housemates and kick back just watching movies. There were times I had watched some films and shows by myself and it okay with me. Then there was the music that helped me get through certain  moments I had whether it was good or bad. Music tends to have that effect that it can turn a cloudy day into a day that of sunshine. It is great therapy.

Another high I had was me getting high, just kidding, but having spent some time with myself and getting to know who I am and what I am, my likes and dislikes, I’ll have to say it was quite interesting. And that how I felt when I wrote the 30 facts about me. It’s something about sharing tidbits of information about yourself because you try not to come off too weird or crazy, or something else. Then I told myself, that all that I am it is better that I will be myself and hope that you guys would understand. I have learned that if you can’t be yourself around people then you have to be around those who can. And that is what I had applied in real life. Believe me when I say in this cyberworld, there are people I know in real life and I can’t be myself with them in cyberworld or real world.

The lows I had was having to write about my past and would sit for hours debating whether I should write about it or not.  Anything so distressing to talk about is going to be hard when it’s about the past. But I am glad that I did. As I was able to open up, I was able to peel away each layer of the past with ease. It wasn’t easy at first to open up and I suppose that is why I’m glad that I’ve been going to counseling in which I have been doing so for a year and a half now.

The lows haven’t really been the kinds of lows that would normally make me want to break out in fits of rage and cry. No, this time, I allow myself to go through and absorb what was going on so I can go through the process of the happenings so it can be processed well. I’m happy that I am doing better than I had before.

Any other lows I had will be okay and will work itself out. Anything that we all go through is for a reason and we shouldn’t beat ourselves up and just learn from it. I know not that it is okay if I don’t know all the answers and it’s okay to think back to the past. When thinking back to the past, now, it is more on the lines of learning and healing so I can grow and be the best version of myself.

The past thirty days have taught me a lot and it hasn’t quite been a crazy roller coaster ride, but I am thankful I have gone through it all.

Thank you all for rocking with me for these thirty days and any other days before. I am grateful and thankful you have taken the time out to read my blog posts and getting to know the woman behind this blog. I have some catching  up to do in reading your posts. Thanks again.

Much love,

Pamela

This concludes the 30 Days Writing Challenge. Be safe and well. Enjoy yourself and know that someone cares about you. Take care.

P.S. Why do this sounds like a farewell. I’m going to be posting something else soon, just don’t know when yet. Trust you will see me and my posts again sometimes soon.

 

Life is filled with highs... | Quotes & Writings by Akshit ...

 

 

April Writing Challenge- Day 18: Thirty Facts About Me


Photo by Natasha Fernandez from Pexels.com

Hi, lovelies! How have your days (and nights) been treating you? I hope all is well and you are taking care of yourself and family the best you know how to do. I hate what is happening and I am trying my best not to let it get the best of me by finding other things to occupied my time when I am not working. I pray you are doing whatever you can as well.

Today’s writing challenge is about the facts. Facts about me that is. When I saw the challenge for today a few days ago, I was a bit nervous because I didn’t know what to share about myself and what not to. Then I was like, “hell, I had already mentioned some things about my childhood so I might as well prepare for the 30 facts I’m to mention.” And here we are.

  1. I have never been outside of my country which is the USA. Yep. I have never been to any other country. I haven’t been as far north than Virginia which is still consider the south. (I’m from South Carolina.) I haven’t been far west than Georgia. South of me, I have been to Jacksonville, Florida where my dad is from. And I have briefly been to Tampa. I want to visit Orlando because of Walt Disney World. What? Don’t judge me.
  2. I am an introvert. You may already know that. I like being by myself too much sometimes. I guess I have been around too many liars, schemers, cheaters, people who aggravate my nerves, etc. that I have taken a liking to my own company. I like to people-watch, more like a habit. Being around most people drain me. Sometimes I don’t like talking much either, and I’m claustrophobic.
  3. Spirituality isn’t something I chose, it has chosen me, and began to love it and learn it. Since I was a little girl, I would get these dreams and visions that would come to me, and then it would happen in real life. I don’t know why that is, it just is. Like for most people who have the gift or knack of tarot reading, various divination, psychic, psychic mediums, spiritual readers, and/or others that fit in that category, it is something that was given from God and the Universe. And you can use it or lose it. And some spiritual gifts are just with you and can get stronger as you get older. When you tap into it and start “working” on yourself and strengthen it, you have to study it and do these other things…it’s a post for another time. And yes, I know there are scammers and fakers out there, but I’m talking about the real deal people.
  4. I love creative arts as a whole. Besides writing, from whenever I have started, I used to draw. I would illustrate my drawings in the books I would write. I believe this was back when I was in the fourth grade. I am also a phenomenal dancer, but I never went out to go dancing somewhere like a club. Sewing is also something that I love doing. I plan on buying my first sewing machine this year, hopefully, and get some fabrics and such to get started making some stuff.
  5. I’m into the supernatural and paranormal worlds. Some things are true and real and some are far-fetched. First let me say, I don’t believe werewolves are real, but I love seeing them on television for my entertainment. Witches are real people. Vampires aren’t real to me. Though there are people I have researched who called themselves modern-day vampires. They tend to get too heavy into the practice or whatever they call it. Ghosts/spirits are real and I know that first-hand and no one can tell me otherwise, to each his own. I don’t just watch the shows and movies and read the novels, in real-life the worlds are very much real. For sure, some people will create hoaxes and will go out of their way to fool others. That’s why you have to have the ability of discernment to know what is real and what’s not. I’m also the type of person who likes getting the facts first unless I have already know what the deal is already.
  6. I am short. Yeah, my daughter is in the fifth grade and she is 5’4″ which makes her taller than me. Almost everyone I know is taller than me. I am above five feet though.
  7. I have sensitivity issues. I’m not talking about sensitive feelings. I have sensitive eyes, skin, hair, stomach, like dang. Yeah, I am working on taking care of those issues, because it can get expensive trying to find the right products for your skin that won’t break you out or cause issues with your hair. Sunlight and most other light hurt my eyes and I haven’t gotten around to getting the glasses that will protect my eyes from them.
  8. I hate the dark. I still sleep with a nightlight.
  9. I don’t care for most sports. If it’s boxing, then I will watch it.
  10. I am the oldest child out of four.
  11. I have addictions. I am addicted to being the best version of myself, thinking about the future, worrying about getting older, books, and music, and other things I don’t feel like mentioning.
  12. I have a habit of saying the word “seriously.” I don’t know why it just something I seriously do.
  13. During my first year of high school, I had gotten into trouble a lot. I had ended up following the wrong crowd, cutting class, and doing other things.
  14. If I would to pick a decade to be an adult in, it would be the ’80s. I was born during that time, but I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be an adult in the ’80 instead of a baby. I love the decade because of the music. It was the punk-rock era and I love rock music. The hair and style of the ’80s look weird at times, but it looks cool.
  15. I can’t swim. Yep, I can not swim, but I love the water though. I love visiting the ocean because of how serene and magical it is, especially when there aren’t many people there.
  16. If I can go back in time and change something, well, there would be a lot I would change. The world isn’t great nor perfect, but I may not change anything because what you do to in the past could alter the future. Still, I wish to go back in time and change a few things, though.
  17. If I could go 24 hours without doing something it would probably be sex. Lol. I said sex because I wanted to catch your eye. It was something I used to write about on my blog, and I believe it made some people uncomfortable. It was clean and more on the lines of romance and relationships, and education-type thing. Seriously, what I could live without is social media/news, anything of that nature. It’s something I could cleanse myself from, and do without for a while.
  18. My favorite ice cream is chocolate chip cookie dough.
  19. I am a weird person. Yeah, I have accepted the fact that I am weird. I’ll tell you another time why I am.
  20. What catches and will make me pause about a person’s face is their eyes. I love looking at a person’s eyes. I try not to let anyone see me gazing at their eyes. There are many reasons why, and talking about it needs its own post.
  21. My alcoholic drink of choice is vodka and wine. I don’t like beer unless it’s a Corona, and I dislike rum, gin, brandy, etc.
  22. I mostly listen to jazz music and old-school R&B. Slow jazz is my absolute favorite because it’s relaxing and set the tone. I love other music like, reggae, calypso, old school hip-hop, Pop, R&B in general, dance-hall, folk music, and others.
  23. I hate popping noises. When I was a kid, my cousins used to scare me by popping balloons right by my ear. Since then, I can’t stand the noise.
  24. I stopped drinking sodas four years ago. It was for health reasons.
  25. I am a neat freak and perfectionist.
  26. Guys that talk about their past a lot like past relationships really gets on my nerves. I have had a few who had talked me to death about their past relationships. It’s draining and it’s a no-no. It’s disrespectful to want to date someone or is dating someone and you constantly yapping about an ex or two. It is also annoying. I would hear about the first time to find out what I am dealing with, but I don’t like it when they keep doing that. You have to teach people how to treat you.
  27. I don’t smoke. I never tried it and never care to do so.
  28. I have been called nerdy. Not because I look like one because I wear glasses. I just like sci-fi stuff. Most science isn’t fiction or made-up. I love science and believe sci-fi should be called sci-fa for science fact. Studying quantum physics is a must for me. I don’t know a lot about it, so I want to study what I don’t know or don’t much about. Other things qualifies me as a nerd too, I suppose.
  29. I love astrology. I like to study the stars, planets and the entire galaxy. I have downloaded Google Earth on my laptop and have called myself studying the planets that were on there. It may be a few years out-dated, but I had fun looking around on Earth, zooming into the sky and seeing the many planets, stars and such. I have even found the star for Aries. I have visited the Moon and Mars on Google Earth. It’s quite something. I just wished I had better technology. I want to own a telescope one day.
  30. I have a clear vision for my future. I don’t mean that spiritually. I don’t like planning anything too much because if it doesn’t go to plan, I will get disappointed. I know what I want to do with my life for the next so years, but you know life. It always got a way of doing things that you may not agree with. I know what I want career wise and how I want my life to go. I wish to make the money I want to make and have love find me. And I’m talking about unconditional love, real and true. I have other plans for my future.

This is it for the facts about me. I hope you all have enjoyed reading about and getting to know me. That wasn’t even all. Thank you for doing that. I hope to get to know more about you as well soon. I hope you have a joyous and blessed day.

Stay safe and protected. Chat with you soon. Muah!

Stay tuned for Day 18.

April Writing Challenge- Day 1: What Makes Me Happy #AprilWritingChallenge


Photo courtesy by: Pixabay.com

 

Hmm. What makes me happy? Some things make me happy, but the challenge for today mentioned what makes me really happy. As I ponder this while listening to the television play in the background, I must say that the ten things that make me really happy in no particular order are:

  1. Being alive. Each day I thank God for allowing me to see another day. While thankful, I try to remind myself to be grateful and not get caught up in what I don’t have. And try to remember the blessings I do have and not get stress on the happenings in the world.
  2. My daughter. Though she does gets on my nerves sometimes, and sometimes gets beside herself, I love her lots. She challenges me whether she knows it or not. She is eleven now and God knows I am crying now and getting the strength to endure her teenage years that are coming.
  3. Writing. You guys already know that I hope. Writing brings power to words of what comes from the inside. It’s empowering, soul-inspiring and therapeutic. A quote that sticks out to me about it is:

    “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” by- Maya Angelou

    “Every secret of a writer’s soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind, is written large in his works.”  by- Virginia Woolf

  4. Your posts. I love reading your posts and getting to know more about you from what you all decide to share with everyone in your posts. I always find it to be a wonderful feeling reading what others write/type about from all walks of life and from around the world.
  5. Music/Dancing.  It’s no secret to how much I loooove music and dancing. However, there is one to me dancing to my heart’s content and in the midst of my…uh, exuberance, I nearly flipped over a table. Another occasion my daughter caught me dancing to a dance hall number.
    Music Video GIF
    Gif courtesy by/; pixabay.com

    Music fills me with joy and it is extremely therapeutic. No matter the mood I’m in, I tend to turn to it. During these times, and any other times, it is greatly needed. It is uplifting and decreases stress and increases happiness. Yay! So, you already know what dancing does. They cause you to have a baby. Okay, maybe not. But, I am sure it does for most. Hey! Anyway, dancing reduces stress and increases serotonin. It also improves the conditions of your heart and lungs. So as you see, music and dancing are vital to our health.

  6. Food. Yes, I love to eat. And, it makes it harder to lose weight, though I shouldn’t make any excuses.
  7. Adventure. Yes, I am an adventurous person. Over the last some odd years, I been in the house, not by choice. Now, I regret not being to get out of the house more now that this Covid-19/coronavirus pandemic is going on. I believe that getting out, though I am also not much of an outdoors-person, (yes I know, I’m weird), gives me a sense of enjoyment and not knowing but wanting to know the unknown. I am a curious person and would love to get back to the side of me again.
  8. Being me. There is something about being able to be yourself. There has been a time where I haven’t always have the ability to be me. So, whenever I am smiling and feeling good about thyself and whatever else, then people should just allow me to just be. I am not a good person in any way when I am not. I had family members that had me believing that being myself was like committing a crime. Whenever I would get too excited and wanted to just “spread my wings and fly,” they would give me this look like I shouldn’t do that and what is wrong with you, girl. It had taken a while for me to find myself and to learn who the hell I am. I don’t want to go back to that girl who was always afraid to talk, to act a certain way, and to just be. I am evolving and am practicing self-love. More on this subject another time.
  9. Being free. The definition of being free is- 1: the quality or state of being free: such as. a: the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action. b: liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another : independence. c: the quality or state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous freedom from care. This comes from the Merriam-Webster dictionary. The sense of not being bound to a place or person sends shots of carefree-ness coursing through my veins. I don’t want to get off into the other realms of being free even though I feel like sometimes I must put a filter on some subjects because I just may go too far into the deep waters. What I really would like to say, I will touch the subject in another post. One thing I would like to add- is one ever truly free?

    Photo courtesy by: pixabay.com
  10. Spirituality. Since I was a little girl, I have always wondered about life, the Earth, everything beyond the stars, the known and unknown, and that goes for the supernatural and paranormal. Spirituality has always been a part of me even when I didn’t know it. I won’t go too far into because I know most of my readers are not into that type of stuff, but I will brush the surface because I am forever educating myself. It makes me happy because I have grown into who and what I am meant to be and I am still growing. You can never learn too much. Since 2017, I have learned about meditation, chakras, tarot, what soul mates, karmic partners, and twin flames are all about. I feel jubilant to have opened my third eye into the realms into the Universe that I dare to go. I feel like do what feels comfortable to you, not what makes others feel comfortable. Then again, sometimes even we should be a little comfortable so we can assess why we are feeling the way we are feeling, and if this is okay or not to us. More on that later.

    Photo courtesy by: pixabay.com

I hope you have enjoyed and gotten to learn a little more about me. I hope to learn more about you guys as well.

Stay tuned for Day 2.

Stay well and blessed lovelies.

 

I’ve Missed You #MondayBlogs #Amwriting #Fiction


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I told myself that I was better off without her, but who am I kidding. I can’t stop thinking about her loving eyes, her floral scent, and those sweet kisses I love so much. And, the temporary dizzy effect I’ll get when a flashback of the two of us are making love.

No one has ever made me feel the way she makes me feel. I should have known throwing up the idea of marriage so soon after dating for six months would send her running away.

I shouldn’t have ignored her when she told me she likes to take things slow. Real slow. I’m a hopeless romantic and thought if I did all the right things, it would be enough to prove how much I love and cherish her in every way. Boy, was I wrong!

“Man, you have to stop running into that damn brick wall where Kayla is concerned. She hurt you and she’s not coming back.” My brother, Thomas stated, forever giving his two cents when it’s not needed.

“You don’t know if she’s coming back. This is Kayla we’re talking about!” I spat out while busying myself by pouring some brown liquor into a glass. The liquid burned like hell down to my belly. The pain doesn’t even compare to the one in my heart.

As Thomas continued to express his dislike for Kayla, I barely heard my cell phone go off.

“Shh! It’s Kayla!” I exclaimed in a frantic. My heart knocked against my rib cage as I brushed my shaky hands down my pants legs. She’s calling now?! I screamed in my head.

“Hello?” I answered in a voice I used when I’m at the office, but a little too formal and stiff.

“Hi, Ryan. How are you?” Just hearing her soft voice was enough to cause me to plummet to the floor. Though, I held tightly onto the granite countertop as if that would be enough to calm my frazzled nerves.

“Kayla. I thought I wouldn’t ever hear from you again.”

“Yes, it has been a while. I’ve been…busy.”

“Busy, huh? You said, before you slammed the door in my face, you wanted to slow down with life, and-”

“I remembered what I’ve said to you. So much has happened and I had a difficult time putting things into perspective.” I heard a slight sigh escaped from her lips. I shook my head in bewilderment. It just keeps getting worse.

“Kay, you just don’t understand how much I love you. And, how much I missed you. Every time I think of you, I always catch my breath. I kept believing you would come back and we would get through this. I apologize for bringing up marriage so-”

“Let me stop you there, Ry. My reason for calling is there has been a change- a big change matter-of-fact- happening in my life. When you mentioned marriage, I wanted to say yes, but I just couldn’t go on deceiving you any longer.”

“So what was it?” I asked, fearing for the answer. By this time, Thomas was leaning too close to me as he waited also for the answer.

“Because I was already engaged then. I just got married three months ago. I’m so sorry.”

I dropped the phone in shock while my whole world spun around me.

Pamela E. Hester ©2017

Happy Blogversary To K. Phoenix!


I can’t believe it has been 8 years since I’ve started this blog. A toast to the rough days and the not-so rough days.🍾🍷 Even though I have been active on here on and off over the years, I tried to published new content as often as I can. And oh yeah, reposting most as well. (Smiles and wink.)

A huge thank you to everyone who had like, comment, and reblog on K. Phoenix. I couldn’t have done this without you all. You have been marvelous, helpful, generous, but most of all, patient. I couldn’t have gotten this far without those attributes.

In the beginning, I was lost as heck and also lost some followers and then gain some. There were times when I had to take breaks from it, and times when the breaks came without my control. There were a time a few years ago I wanted to delete my blog, wait a while, and then start over fresh. Then I figured, why don’t I just start over with what I have. Delete a post or two that wasn’t working or what you. And work out the kinks as years went by. And I did. Still, I much needed work to do. I’m never truly satisfied with anything. (Let’s keep that secret between us, okay?)

I am thankful and grateful for this blog, you all, and WordPress. Much love,

Pamela.

Stay safe and be blessed.

Connect with me on Twitter: @PamelaHester

Instagram: @kphoenix1