I told myself that I was better off without her, but who am I kidding. I can’t stop thinking about her loving eyes, her floral scent, and those sweet kisses I love so much. And, the temporary dizzy effect I’ll get when a flashback of the two of us are making love.
No one has ever made me feel the way she makes me feel. I should have known throwing up the idea of marriage so soon after dating for six months would send her running away.
I shouldn’t have ignored her when she told me she likes to take things slow. Real slow. I’m a hopeless romantic and thought if I did all the right things, it would be enough to prove how much I love and cherish her in every way. Boy, was I wrong!
“Man, you have to stop running into that damn brick wall where Kayla is concerned. She hurt you and she’s not coming back.” My brother, Thomas stated, forever giving his two cents when it’s not needed.
“You don’t know if she’s coming back. This is Kayla we’re talking about!” I spat out while busying myself by pouring some brown liquor into a glass. The liquid burned like hell down to my belly. The pain doesn’t even compare to the one in my heart.
As Thomas continued to express his dislike for Kayla, I barely heard my cell phone go off.
“Shh! It’s Kayla!” I exclaimed in a frantic. My heart knocked against my rib cage as I brushed my shaky hands down my pants legs. She’s calling now?! I screamed in my head.
“Hello?” I answered in a voice I used when I’m at the office, but a little too formal and stiff.
“Hi, Ryan. How are you?” Just hearing her soft voice was enough to cause me to plummet to the floor. Though, I held tightly onto the granite countertop as if that would be enough to calm my frazzled nerves.
“Kayla. I thought I wouldn’t ever hear from you again.”
“Yes, it has been a while. I’ve been…busy.”
“Busy, huh? You said, before you slammed the door in my face, you wanted to slow down with life, and-”
“I remembered what I’ve said to you. So much has happened and I had a difficult time putting things into perspective.” I heard a slight sigh escaped from her lips. I shook my head in bewilderment. It just keeps getting worse.
“Kay, you just don’t understand how much I love you. And, how much I missed you. Every time I think of you, I always catch my breath. I kept believing you would come back and we would get through this. I apologize for bringing up marriage so-”
“Let me stop you there, Ry. My reason for calling is there has been a change- a big change matter-of-fact- happening in my life. When you mentioned marriage, I wanted to say yes, but I just couldn’t go on deceiving you any longer.”
“So what was it?” I asked, fearing for the answer. By this time, Thomas was leaning too close to me as he waited also for the answer.
“Because I was already engaged then. I just got married three months ago. I’m so sorry.”
I dropped the phone in shock while my whole world spun around me.
Pamela E. Hester ©2017