I’ve Missed You #MondayBlogs #Amwriting #Fiction


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I told myself that I was better off without her, but who am I kidding. I can’t stop thinking about her loving eyes, her floral scent, and those sweet kisses I love so much. And, the temporary dizzy effect I’ll get when a flashback of the two of us are making love.

No one has ever made me feel the way she makes me feel. I should have known throwing up the idea of marriage so soon after dating for six months would send her running away.

I shouldn’t have ignored her when she told me she likes to take things slow. Real slow. I’m a hopeless romantic and thought if I did all the right things, it would be enough to prove how much I love and cherish her in every way. Boy, was I wrong!

“Man, you have to stop running into that damn brick wall where Kayla is concerned. She hurt you and she’s not coming back.” My brother, Thomas stated, forever giving his two cents when it’s not needed.

“You don’t know if she’s coming back. This is Kayla we’re talking about!” I spat out while busying myself by pouring some brown liquor into a glass. The liquid burned like hell down to my belly. The pain doesn’t even compare to the one in my heart.

As Thomas continued to express his dislike for Kayla, I barely heard my cell phone go off.

“Shh! It’s Kayla!” I exclaimed in a frantic. My heart knocked against my rib cage as I brushed my shaky hands down my pants legs. She’s calling now?! I screamed in my head.

“Hello?” I answered in a voice I used when I’m at the office, but a little too formal and stiff.

“Hi, Ryan. How are you?” Just hearing her soft voice was enough to cause me to plummet to the floor. Though, I held tightly onto the granite countertop as if that would be enough to calm my frazzled nerves.

“Kayla. I thought I wouldn’t ever hear from you again.”

“Yes, it has been a while. I’ve been…busy.”

“Busy, huh? You said, before you slammed the door in my face, you wanted to slow down with life, and-”

“I remembered what I’ve said to you. So much has happened and I had a difficult time putting things into perspective.” I heard a slight sigh escaped from her lips. I shook my head in bewilderment. It just keeps getting worse.

“Kay, you just don’t understand how much I love you. And, how much I missed you. Every time I think of you, I always catch my breath. I kept believing you would come back and we would get through this. I apologize for bringing up marriage so-”

“Let me stop you there, Ry. My reason for calling is there has been a change- a big change matter-of-fact- happening in my life. When you mentioned marriage, I wanted to say yes, but I just couldn’t go on deceiving you any longer.”

“So what was it?” I asked, fearing for the answer. By this time, Thomas was leaning too close to me as he waited also for the answer.

“Because I was already engaged then. I just got married three months ago. I’m so sorry.”

I dropped the phone in shock while my whole world spun around me.

Pamela E. Hester ©2017

The Greatest Comeback #amwriting #fiction 


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She knows what she is capable of.

To have gone through the things she had endured only made her stronger.

A fighter, warrior, and an empress.

No one can tell her that she can’t accomplish what she wants in life.

Pushing, slaying, empowering.

She won’t allow another person to be used as someone’s punching bag, bed-mate, nor a personal slave.

You see, she made a vow to fight for the rights of others like one dear soul had done for her when the older woman found her battered and homeless, ready to give up on life.

A life saved had live to see another day.

Nevertheless, she will continue to pay it forward, but not without tying up some loose ends.

One particular person she simply cannot let go of the past for.

That foul, despicable person who she had known for ten years, married for three, had made her life a living hell.

He kept her away from her family, literally made her sick- always, and if that wasn’t enough, had an affair with her so-called best friend, and gotten her pregnant. Then the two of them had gotten married and lived a luxurious life. Her best friend knew what kind of monster her ex was to her, but she didn’t care.

After getting on her feet and doing very well for herself, she took back her power and control of her life.

She visited a church after work, sat in the parking lot for nearly an hour before deciding to go in. Once inside, she knelt at the altar, said a prayer, and felt a huge weight being lifted off her shoulders. She is grateful for her new and better life, blessed, and much stronger and powerful.

After leaving the church, she headed to a local diner where she had her usual roast chicken, potatoes, and vegetables.

Once the last morsel of food was finished, she noticed a woman in a flowery dress with her head held down. Her shoulders are slumped. She appeared depleted.

She asked for the check, paid for it, and falters over to the woman. Something didn’t feel right, a distressing feeling swaddled her, but she shook it off so she can be strong for the woman. She might be in dire need for her help.

“Hi, are you okay-” She froze. The woman who was weeping was her former friend. She could only gaze at her. The four-time beauty queen winner is sitting before her haggard, confused and unusually shy.

“Carena?” she asked quietly.

Carena turned her way holding a handkerchief in midair. Recognition dawned on her face. Her eyes widen and her mouth agape. The person she been waiting to see all this time stood before her with concern in her eyes. And dressed as if she’s doing extremely well for herself.

“Hi, Faith! It’s me. Have a seat. How have you been?” Carena said to her, suppressing a meek smile. She quickly checked her face in a pink compact mirror Faith didn’t see her pulled out. She mentally rolled her eyes.

“I’ve been great! How about you?” Faith knew that was a subject Carena didn’t want to go, but she did ask first. And, her curiosity is getting the best of her of why the ex-friend been crying and looking less than her usual self.

Carena paused. She pulled her bottom lip in and chewed on it nervously. She sighed, repeatedly glancing over at Faith. “Can I be honest with you?”

Faith nodded. Carena then continued, “My life isn’t going too well as you can see. David in prison.” Faith could only stare on in silence. Her ex-husband in prison? Music to her ears!

“Yeah, for fraud and money embezzlement. And…and for assault on a guy he used to work for. Millions of dollars he embezzled…for years. Everything is gone. I have nothing.”

After Faith did what she could to consoled Carena, even when the woman was never there for her and took what she thought was a better life, Faith said her goodbyes and stood up.

“Faith? Thanks for listening. But one more thing, you did quite well for yourself. If by chance, can I stay with you until I get on my feet?”

Seriously? What the hell! Faith screamed in her head. Everything she ever wanted to say, Carena will get it in a matter of days. She kept calm anyway. Just like with her ex-husband, Carena will get a dose of her own medicine. Let God deal with them, a voice repeated in her head as it had done for two years now.

“You know that saying, ‘payback is a bad bitch?’ Well, you will get what’s coming to you. You were never there for me and I’m done with my past. Take care now.”

And with that, Faith left Carena astounded and glaring at her back as she exited the diner.

“Yep, payback feels good. I’m better now.” She told herself as she got inside her car, finally relieved to close this chapter of her life for good.

Pamela E. Hester ©2017

I Saw Our Lives Together In Your Eyes #MondayBlogs #Love


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Today is finally ending, and Zen is glad. “What a hectic day!” He said to himself. Work had taken what small amount of energy he had left in hopes of a night out in town. Nevertheless, he decided he can just use the time to catch up on his sleep and binge-watching his favorites on Netflix.

On top of having a bad day, he saw a couple in love trying not to express public display of affection which only reminded him of a woman he lost connection with. Months and months he invested into getting to know her, and he doesn’t know where the first place to search to find her.

Not wanting to end his day or go home because it’s going to be empty there on this Friday evening, Zen walked two blocks to Barnes and Noble. Since it’s warm out, walking would be more beneficial than just driving there.

Once inside the bookstore, Zen immediately felt a sense of calm and peacefulness. Nothing like ending a bad day in a bookstore, he assured himself. He headed over to the café to order his usual: a caffé macchiato and a blueberry muffin before browsing the isles for a good read.

Moments later after spending a substantial amount of time in the romance section, he sat down to read a Forbes magazine he picked up along the way until a familiar feeling swept over him like a gentle, welcoming breeze. He closed his eyes, submitting to the familiarity.

He knows the feeling all too well. It’s an emotion you can feel deep within yourself that comes out to swaddled you in its embrace. Warmth and comfort. It has to be her thinking of him like he’s been thinking of her. He desires and adores her. No one has ever made him feel like this before, and to think Instagram is what started it all.

Zen glanced around slowly, wishing he could be with her and this time, express himself about how he honestly feels. He threw a few of his dreads over his shoulder that escaped from the band to hold the hair in place. He sighs. She is the one who made him believe and trust in love again. He redirects his attention to the magazine, but someone caught his eye. He slightly turns his head and his breath caught. Could it be?

“What is she doing here? She lives on the West coast,” he thought.
Zen shot up out of his seat, almost abandoning his books, and nearly tripped over his feet getting to her. He waited so long for this moment, nothing can stop him, not even his trippy self.

With each step he took, his heart pounded louder, drowning out the noise coming from the patrons and the television that hung from the ceiling on the south end side.

His chestnut-brown eyes stayed fixated on her even when he stood silently in front of her table. His mouth couldn’t move as he took in the sight of her…
Marissa was so enthralled by a book she was reading that she hadn’t noticed someone there at first. She sensed the presence and slowly lifted her head.

“Zen!” She exclaimed in a loud whisper. Her widen eyes started to watered as he took a seat. Her heart fluttered as she stared up at him. The man who she has deep feelings for from her social media stood 6 foot and 3 inches tall with love glowing brightly in his eyes.

“Yes, Marissa. I-I missed you so much.” Zen said to her, reaching for her hands as he took a seat.

“I’ve missed you, too. I can’t believe we’re here, together…finally.” Marissa blinked back the tears threatening to fall. She failed. Before she could wipe them away, he carefully brushed a thumb underneath her eyes.

Their fingers intertwined as they gazed deeply into each other eyes. Time seemed to have stood still. A thousand words they wanted to say. They waited all their lives for each other and for this moment to tell one another what they wanted to say; yet, they were mesmerized.

“Hmm, Marissa, I have to say this so you will know how much you mean to me.”
Marissa could only nod, not trusting her choked words, she squeezed his hand tighter.

“Never in my life have I ever felt love like this. When I saw you online and then we started talking, it opened up something inside of me. We have a lot in common, our likes, dislikes, similar past, and present experiences… What I’m trying to say is in your eyes, I’ve found the missing pieces. The missing pieces to complete me. You are my everything, love. You…you..” Zen couldn’t complete his sentence. He’s not perfect but here’s a woman who wants him, all of him, and he feels so blessed to have known her. She was made for him, and he for her.

Marissa slid her chair over to sit closer beside him. She laid her head against his broad shoulder. “I know, love, I know. I feel the same way. I can’t stop thinking about you. Your laugh, the live videos you shared, the music…You mean so much to me. I’ve waited so long to tell you how much. We should go somewhere privately,” she suggested, looking up at him.

He gazed down lovingly at her, and said, “Yes, my love. I love you so much.” His eyes showed exactly how he felt.
She responded, “I love you, too.”

By: Pamela Hester ©2017.                      🌹                                                                🌹

It’s All About Me Now #MondayBlogs #amwriting #fiction


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No more. She cannot do this back and forth shit with him anymore. She felt like she was swept up in a whirlwind of lies, deceit, and betrayal and have to wait out the storm whether she wants to or not. And besides, patience isn’t her strong suit.

What caused them to break up this time was his latest get-rich-quick scheme- with her money. Even though it was only two hundred dollars, he didn’t ask her for it. She figured he had gotten her back for pawning a necklace an ex-girlfriend once gave him; he should have just given the darn thing back to the woman.

“Caitlyn, are you ready to head on over to Trevor’s bar? He said a hot guy friend of his will be there for you to meet.” Her friend, Ginger asked her as they walked half a block from their boutique to the bar/restaurant.

At their friend’s bar, staring at the ginger ale he made for her, memories of her and Martin played over in Caitlyn’s mind, torturing her unmercifully. She missed his full lips and the way he would hold her at night. Yeah, they both have their faults but Caitlyn was through with this never-ending rollercoaster ride. It had taken over her life.

She picked up the glass and gulped down the ale. As she swallowed, she saw Ginger winding her hips with a reddish-haired guy, and to her left, Trevor was chatting animatedly with an extremely attractive guy. Caitlyn couldn’t believe her luck. Both of her friends are enjoying themselves while she moped over a guy she simply can’t rid herself of.

It was always a pattern with them. Screwed up. Argued. Made up. Repeat. Every time something goes wrong, instead of talking about it and come to some type of understanding to fix it, sex would often get in the way. Caitlyn’s mind was fuzzy, and gulping down a glass of red wine a bartender had set down by during her musings had only helped a little.

“Here’s the guy I wanted you to meet,” Trevor said, coming up to her.

Caitlyn could only blink at the tall guy with a low cut fade who smiled warmly at her. His eyes scanned her face like he wanted to remember every detail and replied,

“Hi, I’m Tresden,” showing off two rows of perfect white teeth.

“Caitlyn.” She responded, shaking his hand.

“Well, I just wanted you two to meet before his shift ends. He’ll be back,” Trevor told them, backpedaling with the guy. The guy wave sheepishly.

“Trevor, forever squeezing the last bit of labor out of someone. Poor guy.” Caitlyn said to herself.

“Girl, I told you he was hot!” Ginger squealed, waving her fingers in her direction. She winked.

“Yes, I know. But, I’m not ready to move on too fast. I’m still working on exorcising Martin out of my system. It’s all about me now.” Caitlyn stated.

Her phone vibrated on the table. She and Ginger both shot daggers at it when they saw it was Martin calling.

“What?! Now?” Caitlyn exclaimed in a loud whisper to her friend. Her eyes darted furiously from the phone to Ginger in disbelief.

“Don’t do it! Don’t pick up the phone. You know he’s only calling because he’s drunk and lonely. He always is,” Ginger suggested, taking a hurried drink from her glass. She licks her ruby red lips as she gauged her friend’s reaction.

“B-b-but” Caitlyn sputtered.

“But, hell. Leave it! Besides, with all the up and down shit he put you through, you better off without him. And, also, he’s nothing compared to Tresden.”

“Compared to who?” A gruff voice asked them with a slur.

Caitlyn and Ginger slowly glanced up and gasped. Standing there unsteady with bloodshot eyes was Martin. Coming up behind him carrying food was Tresden with a confused look on his face.

“Oh no,” Caitlyn mumbled, mentally praying Martin wouldn’t make a scene.

©2017 Pamela Hester

My Heart Will Always Belong To You #MondayBlogs #Fiction 


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My heart is ready and prepares for tonight, but my mind is still cloudy from wondering if she still feels the same way about me, about us.

As I put on my black pants with no underwear on, I began to take a long drag of the ganja from the metal tray sitting on the night table, and allow the smoke to fill my lungs.

The night awaits me like newfound freedom, and I anticipated seeing her since it feels like forever we last saw each other. I miss touching her soft skin, inhaling her rich inviting fragrance, and…and… I need to pull myself together because they need me downstairs. I won’t wallow in distress. I just want her to love me the way I love her.

Once downstairs, I noted that everyone is becoming acquainted with one another. The laughter is lively and glasses are staying filled. They were all dressed in their costumes for the “What’s Your Fantasy” theme.

The host and hostess of the night, my best friends who are using my house for this occasion, are busying themselves doing what they normally do; keeping everyone entertained and satisfied.

Typhan noticed me and broke free of his wife, Vivian’s hand and hurried my way.

Hey man! How’s it going?” He said with a megawatt smile.

“What’s up? I’m good. You saw Tracee?”

“Yeah. She’s with a red-haired woman.” When he said that, I immediately looked around and saw five women with red hair, but no Tracee. What the hell? I muttered. I turned hastily to Ty and he utters a “good luck” and winks before heading back to Vivian who waves my way and kisses her husband. I didn’t bother waving back; they carried on without a care in the world, unashamedly.

After receiving a glass of vodka from a server, I interacted with several women and men who participated in various activities. Soft jazz music flowed throughout the house, women in leotards sashay and giggle as they pass me, and I’m distancing myself from the crowd in desperate need to search for Tracee.

Not so long as I began my search, I spotted her swaying her hips seductively to the music of Boney James with her eyes closed. She looked so beautiful and amazing as she continues to dance to the beats of drums and the saxophone, opening and closing her robe to tease us. The way she moved had all who were there in a trance, including me.

After her sensual dance, I move over to her, watching her as her eyes watch my every move. She knows I would be here, granted this is my home, and which had used to be hers. I could still hear her screams still vibrating off the walls when I go to sleep at night.

“Ryan, how have you been?” She said to me. She tried to force a smile but failed.

“I’m sure you know. What about you?”

“Been busy with work and just thinking about things.”

“Things like what?” I had to ask.

Tracee cocks her head, glances down at me, her eyes linger a little too long at my waistband, and said, “You still wanna prove how much you want me to be with you?”

I swallow; hearing those words almost made me regret once saying them. I nodded slowly and walked away. Okay, let’s do this your way. I gave her a flattering smile, trying to act like a lion, but inside I’m a scared kitten.

On a black chaise, I lay wearing only my pants and shoes waiting for her. My heartbeat faster when the doorknob turns, and she enters like a goddess that she is in a black and red satin negligee with stilettos.

No words are needed at this point. Tracee arched an eyebrow and stood there with her left hand on her hip. She’s taking no prisoners. She demands an answer. People from her past had hurt her and/or gave false promises. I was no better. She feels I treated her unfairly and didn’t love her. I love her more than anything. I just want her to understand that I’m not used to expressing myself the way she wants.

“Ryan, I’m here and you haven’t said a word. You don’t tell me anything about how you feel about us. It’s like you don’t care.” I can hear the shakiness in her voice. It breaks my heart. Coming here, and telling me how it affected her had let me know all hope wasn’t lost.

“Darling, I love you. I would get on my knees. I would do anything for you. You have to understand how much you mean to me. There’s no one else who can make me feel the way you make me feel. My heart will always belong to you.  I will spend the rest of my life proving to you how much I love, cherish, and will support you.” Unexpected teardrops fell and it shocked me because I’m not one to cry.

She reaches up and wipes the tears from my face and we embraced. “I love you too,” she moans against my lips. The intense, fiery  energy consumed us. Nothing else matters.

We peel off our clothes and staggered over to the chaise where we made love to each other mind, heart, soul, and body.

© Pamela Hester- Written in 2017