Know Who You Are

When I first created my blog, K. Phoenix at the end of 2012, it was for the sole purpose of helping others and sharing real life experiences. I had seen people who had lost their way due to life throwing them a curve ball. I couldn’t reach out to all in person, but used the internet to helped those who needed inspiration and a bit of entertaining.
Let’s keep it real. We see what goes on in the world via media; albeit television, radio, internet, etc. Everywhere you look more and more bullish** goes on leaving you wonder, “What the heck is this world coming to?”
In the beginning, I used my voice and blogging style to the best of my ability, reflecting on the type of person I really am. I would post and post but if what I’m saying isn’t reaching out, what’s the point? I don’t do it to see who’ll respond back but how it affect others. What I write about, the topics I used are based on my life experiences along with the people I had come in contact with, who have been through some serious crap.
I had been writing long before K. Phoenix, writing about the same as I do on my blog. I had kept my language clean as possible trying not to offend anyone. I suppose that is why I like to write fiction, it’s much safer. When I first wrote my unpublished book a few years ago, it was too safe. I was afraid to take risks. I would wondered, “Would it sound too gutter?” So I had to rearranged the entire manuscript, and used the style I was comfortable with. A style that said I can still be me without being on that degrading scale. I am who I chose to be. Even though my manuscript is an urban erotica, I am proud of myself that I have given life to something so wonderful. Yet, during my breakthrough moment, I had allowed someone to push me backwards into the darkness; believing that I was a bad person who encourages people’s sexuality and praises good sex.
It had later gotten to the point when they told me, “Pam, don’t sell yourself through your blog, by degradation on sex and such.” Huh? Really. So I stop posting for a while and ended up coming back, playing it “safe”. But, I wasn’t happy. I am displeased with myself. First, not putting a book that took work, sweat, and tears into publication, and then not getting the known pleasure I wanted out of my blog. Oh hell no!
I’m to the point where as long as I not hurting anybody, I’m free to be me. As long as what I do is tasteful enough that my five-year daughter can look back at my work in ten years or so, and say, “I am proud of my mommy.”
I want to inspire you all and tell you not to give up on anything. Yes you may have a setback but let it be on your part, because you want to for a moment, not cause someone force the issue. Never, ever give up on your dreams. You going to have people who will not agree with or support your dreams. But, you will have twice as more people on your side pushing you to achieve even more for yourself.
Until we meet again.



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