Love: To Be or Not to Be

What’s the true definition of love? Love is an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment. Love is also said to be a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection —”the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another”. With that being said, why have some of us fail to manage to do something so elementary?

Years ago, I thought I knew what love really means.  Okay, someone may do something nice for you or even carry out a plan to show their gratitude for what you have done for them, but is it truly love? Let’s talk relationships. When you are in a relationship with this person you feel very much passionate about, is it love or is it really lust? What brought the two of you together? What were the person’s characteristics? Some of us waste no time jumping into a relationship because we “felt” something for the other person. Our heart’s desire clouding us with something that can be so deceitful. But, love can also be a beautiful thing. The sweet kisses. The yearning to be held by your beloved. The passionate love-making the two of you make. Wow. Need I go on?

To be love can take on something so extraordinaire.  Especially when one is in a romantic relationship. In an article I read,  it says  “during the initial stages of a romantic relationship, there is more often more emphasis on emotions—especially those of loveintimacy,compassionappreciation, and affinity—rather than physical intimacy.”

I agree on that statement.  Why do you think there’s more emphasis on emotions, as well as the above? It’s because when you’re in a romantic relationships, those are the criteria necessary for a productive romance. I have  known a lot of people who said that they had all of those criteria, but their relationship/marriage didn’t last. I had always wondered what went wrong. Sometimes, the person may had becane bored with the relationship or with the person. It’s exhausting as you have to always innovate, do something new, upgrade maybe. Sometimes, we get comfortable, too comfortable and settle into a routine. Don’t settle into a routine. And, definitely don’t settle when it comes to the bedroom either.  You have to always spice things up. Give your lover something so unexpected that it will blow their mind. They won’t dare look left or right eyeing the next person. But, if they supposedly say they love you, they will make things work. Moreover, it shouldn’t be  just when especially when it boils down to love-making.


Emotions, love, intimacy, compassion, appreciation, and affinity are the ones that should stay strong in a romantic relationship. Physical intimacy comes last, because if that all you have, instead of the others, then it’s not romance. Not in a relationship or marriage. But, if you and your lover are cool with just being sex buddies or whatever, then do what works for you. No judgment from me.

To not be love, you’re in a state of mind when none of the above, excluding physical intimacy, doesn’t matters to you. Either, you been hurt, emotional damage, etc., you want to be free of emotions and all that comes with it. You’re healing from the inside. For me, I rather not get into anything romantically until I seek therapy or whatever works for me to recover. It’s a healing process and requires time. Give yourself time. It’s worth it.


“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” Aristotle (BC 384-322), Greek Philosopher

“Nuptial love makes mankind; friendly love perfects it; but wanton love corrupts and debases it.” Francis Bacon (1561-1626), British Philosopher

“You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.” AmyCarmichael 1867-? Irish Missionary

“Love means to love that which is unlovable; or it is no virtue at all.” Gilbert K. Chesterton 1874-1936, British Author

Playing Wifey in a Non Married Relationship- Part. 1


We all may have been there. Being in a relationship, living together like you’re married.
The one thing I dislike about that is the fact it gives the other person the okay to act like they are single. For most. While others demand of you to do this and that, carrying on like two married couples.
Now, how can two people who claim to love one another, be there for one another, and then live together for years and not be married. I personally believe if you live together, have children then you should be married. But, part of me believe that you should live apart until ready to say those vows.
No one, that I know of, wants to be a wife or husband in a non married relationship. They rather have the real thing and live in honor and in truth. It’s even honorable to God.

How long can you live together as married until you realize it is time to tie that knot?

I know for a fact that it doesn’t take years and years. You either know this person is who you are meant to spend the rest of your life with or not. You also don’t play mind games. (And I’m talking only to the ones that does this.)

Ladies, we as women have to draw a line somewhere. You can be the cook, housekeeper, chauffeur, mother, and lover with a little more titles living with a man for over five odd years and not be in a monogamous marriage.
I’m not downing the men either because they are some men who want to settle down and feel like they found the right woman, but she isn’t ready for marriage.
Can you see yourself in that type of relationship for years to come- a non-marriage one? Don’t fool yourself. Don’t kid yourself into believing that this person who promise to love you and treat you like a queen that he will put a ring on it.
You should also not jump head first into marriage, because for some are headed down to divorce court. Take it from me, although had never married yet, know this person for years and still feel like things won’t change. And a future with is only non existence like Santa Clause.

If a man want you to play a role of a wife, look at your bare left ring finger and say, “Not until we say I Do”.

Look forward to part 2 coming soon.

Until we meet again,

Find Your Forever More Love

Yahoo! Video Detail for Anthony David “4Evermore” feat. Algebra & Phonte Official Video.

I totally love this song! A love song that holds a definite true meaning.

***I couldn’t upload the video, but if anyone would like to see the video, I’ve included the link above.***

Have any of you found that one true person that was meant for you to spend the rest of your life with? I haven’t. But congrats to those who have. It’s a process. It’s like you’re being metamorphose into a being that is destined for that one person. And they for you.

Forever more type of love is something most of us dream about, cherish, and searched for all of our lives. Some blessed to get it and some require more patience.

The second verse captured my heart:

“Pick a tree to carve our names
Let the world know it’s not a game
Last longer than a wedding ring
Generations tattooed with the love we bring
From the seeds we sow
To the time it takes to grow
Long enough to show you
I won’t let go of you
Cause without you I’m incomplete
Like this love song without this beat
I’m saying that you are the man I need (I need)
I need (I need), I need (yeah-heey)
I’m making my plans just to be with you
Just you and me babe till the days are through
And I ain’t ashamed love, to say I do (I do)
I do (I do), I do (I do)”


Having that “forever more” love, which I called being soul mates, you’re intended for the person you are meant to be with for the rest of your life. The two of you are spiritually entwined. It’s a dramatically different kind of relationship which considered to be the most profound and compelling of all. This is the twin soul or twin flame union that will eventually transcend all others. However, since this is highly charged with energy, making the two of you spiritually ready, you can last any meaningful length of time. When fully prepared, your union is meant to endure for eternity. With this being said, the relationship can finally reach the final ONEness.

It is important to realize that any relationship you may now be having or will have, whether it be soul mate or twin-soul, has the potential to be a glorious, fulfilling, extremely loving and very rewarding one, assuming that is what both of you are striving for.

“Forever’s a mighty long time but I really wanna spend it with you
I shine when you shine and there’s really no substitute
Forever more…
Forever’s a mighty long time but I really wanna spend it with you
I shine when you shine and there’s really no substitute
Forever more…”

If I would ever have this kind of love,  I would never let it go. I would be a better me for myself as well as for the person I’m pursuing. Of course, this person would be the same for me. Why not have this? Although, you will go through some things, but that will only strengthen the bond the two of you have. Can you spend the rest of your life with someone? I can. Only fate can decide that person for me though. You won’t find your soul mate on your own, only destiny will have that contingency.

Listen to the entire song and get a “feel” off of it. It had to grow on me at first because I didn’t care in the beginning, and I wasn’t ready to “feel”. I hope it gives you the encouragement as it did for me to let a forever more love blossom.

Until we meet again,



A Sexier You

woman relaxing

Sit back and relax…it has been a long day.

Now, we all are humans. I hope. (Smiles) We are all adults,  so why are some of us are squeamish when it comes to being open-minded to new things? Whether you are in a relationship, married, or have a partner, we all know, old routines no longer work after a certain time. It’s like when you first get into a relationship, (or at first, dating) you do the usual routine, like for instance: spending long hours talking on the phone, thinking only of that person all day, going on dates, skipping, (lol) etc. After the newness wears off, you and your person become comfortable around one another. Too comfortable.

It’s to the point where you’re letting yourself go, or the other person letting his or herself go. Or, you find yourself picking up behind that person. Please, don’t do that. You should never get too “comfortable” to the point where you stop getting your hair done, cutting your hair, getting your nails done, you get the picture. No matter where you are in the social status, hopefully before you get marry, you should always make sure you are looking your best.

Now, I’m not saying (women and men) that you should sit in the house dress like you’re going out to a gala or  somewhere extravagant. Just don’t break out into old habits. Being sexy means more than wearing skimpy clothes, women, and walking around with your abs on blast, men. Being sexy means taking the time out to keep up with your appearance. Whatever you were doing in the beginning for that person to be appealing, don’t stop. You do not want your partner to direct his or her attention at the next person because he or she like what they see.

Here are some tips you can use to stay that sexier you:

  • Be you. Don’t be like no other person but you. There’s nothing sexier than a person you are now. Accept who you are first; don;t expect someone to when you don’t.
  • Hygiene matters to the bone.
  • Wear clothes that compliment you. You should never wear clothes that doesn’t agree with you. It will throw your appearance far off.
  • As stated earlier, DO NOT stop looking your very best. That what makes you, you. From your hair to your shoes, your sense of style and appearance can go a long way.
  • Buy sexy lingerie for yourself, women. Men, it’s okay to buy your lady lingerie also. You may get a show of your life!
  • Take a candlelit bubble bath soaking in invigorating oils. Be stress free. No one wants to walk around all day looking tired and wash-out. Take the time to re-energize an invigorate yourself.

You don’t have to go around looking like the people on those reality shows,  like The Real Housewives of…  Even they have an off day. Be you.  Be happy. Be true.

relaxing by the tub

Through the Veil

I had walked the roads of loneliness, searching for someone or something to make me understand the truth.
Show me the truth. Show me the mirror to my soul. Make me see.
Why won’t anyone see how much this means to me? I’m not perfect nor do I try to be.
I’m just an imperfect, lost being trapped inside a world of darkness and sorrow. Grief and anguish. Despair and devastation.
Someone take me by the hand and show me the truth. I need to see what’s really behind that wall that is blocking me to view in on what I need to know.
I’m sinking. I’m in quicksand fighting my way out, from being suck in any further.
I’m fighting but growing weak. Getting weaker and weaker.
I see a person walking towards me. A silhouette of a man whose stature is strong. He’s coming closer. Closer still.
I know him. A man who gave his life to protect his own. A man who had never gave up. A man who no matter what was there to lead me and protect me.
I see his hand, reaching out to me. It’s large and strong as it gripped my small one.
I am pulled to safety. Relieved, knowing that all is well and that my troubles are gone away.
I said I missed you.
He smiled and stroked my cheek.
He said back that he is always here for me and my siblings and will always look over us.
I love him. I missed him dearly.
He was my best friend but father first. He looks down on me from the Heavens, and is here when I need him.


Losing  someone that close is hard. But it gets better as time pass. Sometimes it seem that your whole world has crash, I know the feeling. I was devastated. Mad with God. Mad with everyone. I had refused to believe that the one person who matter so much has been taken away. It had taken a while for me to find myself. I was a total mess. I barely had a support system. Time manifested itself. I went through more issues afterwards, but I’ve gotten stronger.

It has been 11 years since my father passed and it took over half of that to get over his death. I know he would want me to move on and to live my life the best I can. I now how something to live for, my precious five-year old daughter.

Take time out for you. Find that special place that gives you that blissful moment. Time heals itself. Take all the time you need, no one expects you to overcome your grievance in a day or two. Go back to that happy place that lifts up your spirits. Keep precious memories alive.

I dedicate this post in the name of my loving, dear father, Andrell James.
I love you.

To you all,
Until we meet again,

Crazy Heart

Motivational Speaking For You

inspirational image

We all need a little inspirational a time or two- sometimes more if needed. A little boost to help us push just a little further to reach those heights that seem unreachable. You can reach those heights, fight a little harder, and climb over the boulders that are blocking your path. Troubling times can get you down, but remember, nothing can effect you if you let it.  Like I said times before, overcome obstacles that comes your way.

Here’s a list of quotes to motivate and inspire you when you’re feeling the blues, and to remind you how special you are and not to give up. You are  special and can conquer anything. Don’t give up and remember, hard work with dedication and motivational will pay off in the long run. Enjoy!

(These quotes are not my own.)

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.
Harriet Tubman

Believe with all of your heart that you will do what you were made to do.
Orison Swett Marden

Everything that happens to us leaves some trace behind; everything contributes imperceptibly to make us what we are.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

There are two things to aim at in life; first to get what you want, and after that to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind has achieved the second.
Logan Pearsall Smith

“In order to succeed, you must first be willing to fail.”

“Unless you’re willing to have a go, fail miserably, and have another go, success won’t happen.”
Phillip Adams

“It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect It’s successful outcome.”
William James

“I believe life is to be lived, not worked, enjoyed, not agonized, loved, not hated.”
Leland Bartlett

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.


Until we meet again.






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